Cumulative- you can say that again!

I have been having trouble writing about this past week.  I am not sure if it is the physical or the emotional or a combination of  both. Sometimes it is hard to explain the non tangible of the feeling of being sick.

I had my fourth chemo treatment last Thursday. It was not only the halfway mark to finishing the chemotherapy portion of my treatment, but it was also the last of the "Red Devil" cocktail.  I was told that chemotherapy was cumulative in terms of effects on the body, but also that the A.C. part (the Red Devil) is the worst of it.  I left the hospital  feeling about the same as the other times.  I was tired from the long day and all the Benadryl they had given me before the chemo.  For the most part things appeared normal for the next couple days.  I was fighting the typical fatigue and nausea, but of course I rode my bike. Bike riding is one of the few good things in my life that makes me feel alive. 

Friday night G and I opted for a short and sweet single speed ride on the NCT. It was about all I had in me but it felt great to get out and do a ride.

Saturday I felt a little better than normal.  I was able to ride almost 20 miles on the road bike and make it to a BBQ at my fathers house.  I commented to G while we pedaled home- this ride reminds me of the pre-race day rides we used to do: how I miss racing.  It's not just the racing that I miss, it's the whole scene.  Last Sunday was the Mountain Bike World Cup  at Wyndham Resort in upstate New York.  I had friends and teammates racing and a bunch of people I knew heading up to be a part of the scene.  I was going to miss yet another event.  So disappointing.

I felt pretty lousy on Sunday but took a friends advise - 'Ride even if it hurts'.  We took a little adventure ride on the single speeds up the Croton Aquaduct from our house.

It was perfect for the single speed and not too much work for my body post chemo.

North of 117 and Rockwood park

My guys favorite bridge. Don't look down G! 

And I wore my cancer sucks socks because it does!

Sunday and Monday quickly went down hill for me.  Historically, those are my most difficult days but something was different.  I could not get a grip on my stomach issues and next thing I knew it was Tuesday at 6:00 am and I was throwing up out of control.  Thank god G was there for me as I would probably still be laying on the bathroom floor.  Dehydration is a huge concern, so the hospital advised us to come in and they would give me fluids.  I spent 6 hours in the triage room getting a bag and a half of fluids pumped in my body. My oncologist and all the nurses are so wonderful -they take great care of me.  All my blood work came back normal, so if I could just keep liquids and some food in me ( ginger ale and crackers) they would send me home. I did not want to get admitted overnight so I choked it down... barely.

Since then, I have been slowly crawling out of this hole. As of today, I am unable to eat much more than plain white rice and chicken broth.

It is a holiday weekend and while my plans are not working out the way I thought they would, I will try to enjoy this beautiful weather we are having here in NY.  I hope you all have safe and wonderful weekend.