My account of life both on and off of two wheels...... "At least I'm enjoying the ride"

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Coming this a bad dream?

The past few days seem to have run together. I wake up each morning to the sound of my guys alarm clock. It's early and my body is so tired but my mind is wide awake already struggling to process the smallest of daily tasks that are ahead of me. Normally, rising at 6 am in the summer would just mean trying to get a long road ride in before the heat. Instead, I get this horrible wave of nausea and think it is impossible to get up and try to put food in my body let alone a bike ride. Round 2 had some side effects lessen while others seemed relentless. They say this treatment is cumulative so I have another two rounds of this particular drug cocktail to look forward to. My chemo nurse tells me that the next drug is not as bad with the nausea. I can only pray that is the case. That doesn't help me now but it does give me hope that this will end.

Last weekend started off well.
Here is a picture G took of me. We were on a training ride and a friendly visit to our friends at Briarcliff Bike Works. It was a good day considering I was 2 days post chemo and on the single speed. Don't comment on the no helmet. The hair was very fragile at this point.

This was the longest ride yet. After getting some post ride bagels and stocking up for the house, we head home to meet up with my sister. The question of the day. To buzz or not to buzz? It has become a sensitive subject. After taking a shower and washing my hair, I realize this is one of the inevitable things that I just have to accept. Off we go to the local Barber Pole. My sister, my guy and my last bit of locks.

Me explaining to the lovely Kim how short I am wanting to go. I could tell she was nervous but once she got started, there was no stopping her.

We both get in our chairs...oh did I forget to mention that G is buzzing his hair as well? His idea. I tried to talk him out of it.

But then I made him go first.

My turn. Penny for my thoughts...

Yup, it's all gone. Still smiling. Remember, my sister is the photographer and we always try to get a laugh out of any situation.

Laughing with you, I promise.

OK..let's roll!

Thank you to the kind folks at the Barber Pole in Tarrytown for helping a girl out!

Hmmm, what just happened?

Sunday came and went and I never made it up to the big race. I had to pull the plug at the last minute as I could barely get myself off the couch. The idea of driving in a car for 2 hours round trip made my stomach turn and my head spin. That is just the way this whole thing goes. A few days pass and I just try to get through it. I know I will and I know that there is an end to this madness but when I'm in the thick of it, it just sucks so bad.

So, I'm coming to and no, this is not a bad dream. I'm fully aware of what is happening to me. I am almost completely bald since these photos were taken. I'm still trying to embrace this so no photos yet. I had to take a lint roller to my head, yes a lint roller, to help the shedding process. It's like living with a cat, temporarily. My scalp is sensitive so I can't do too much at once. I have little patches still on the top of my head and G has nick named me baby bird. Very endearing and well, pretty funny.

My body is tired and my morale took a dive this week but I am heading into the "good days" before I have to go back for round 3. The weekend weather looks to be next to perfect so I plan to enjoy it as much as possible.

There is a great festival going on in the city of Peekskill this weekend. It's called the Peekskill Celebration. If your in the area, it should be a great time. A survivor friend of mine has invited me to join in the Dragon Boat Races which start at 9:00 am Saturday. I won't be racing but if all goes well I will be paddling in the Cancer Awareness race at noon.


  1. I'm sorry, but it has to be said - you look like a FREAKING ROCK STAR. A beautiful, ass-kicking rock star. Much love to you, from all of us.

  2. Total rock star! In every way possible she is a star.

  3. I TOLD you that you had a good head shape, baby bird!! (I LOVE the nickname, btw... but I'll leave it for the two of you...just this once.)

    You DO look like a rock star :) Have a great time at the Festival--sounds like a blast. happy that things are looking up.

  4. Rock star...haha, punk rock style.
    Thank you guys! xo

  5. Hi Kathy- I just got them as a gift from a good friend of mine that I ride with. He got himself a pair in black :-)

  6. Nick and I just watched Aliens over the weekend, and Sigourney Weaver has nothing on you. Hope it was a good weekend.

  7. the new site looks awesome!! :)