Monday, May 24, 2010
More sweet than bitter..
This past weekend was special to me in so many ways but was bitter sweet…More sweet than bitter. The emotion keeps building throughout the days and I have just tried to enjoy all that I can.
Friday was such a beautiful summer like day and while I had a pile of things to do, I still managed to get most of it finished so I could meet my friends in the woods for our weekly social ride. It’s always a good time and I try not to miss it unless I’m in the middle of race season. Training is so strict you tend to miss out on a whole other level of mountain biking. There is the usual cast of characters but there is always the pleasant unexpected folks that show up to get their ride on. There is no pressure to ride fast and most are just happy to be out and celebrating the start of the weekend. That was my mission and it was accomplished. During post ride chatter and an adult beverage of sorts, we planned Saturday’s adventure. My friends had a great riding spot in Connecticut they wanted to show us. I love new trail so the plan was set for the morning. This place was by far the most technical riding I have done in a while. Not a place you want to show up without your “A game”. Rocks, rock gardens and bigger rocks was how this place could best be described but there was still great flow and the area itself was beautiful. A little hidden gem in Ct. indeed and it certainly tested my skills and the bike. The mango was not quite the right bike for the job but I managed to hold my own and both of us are in one piece. The way home took us right past a friend’s family pub so we decided to swing in for some food and some good laughs. Don’t forget...Big date tonight! As exhausted as we both were, we kept to the plan and cleaned ourselves up to get on the train to the city. In attempt to reenact one of our first dates, we headed downtown to this great sushi joint and even got the same table we sat at almost a year ago. It was a great day and a wonderful evening to be in the city.
Up early Sunday morning. Some would think we were crazy for getting up so early on a Sunday but when the trails await and the weatherman says rain, you get up and you go. My body was so tired but I managed to rally and so did many others. What a great scene to pull into the lot to see so many friends ready to ride. The weather held out and in fact the sun shined bright come the afternoon for our post ride BBQ. We had a great group of roughly 17 give or take throughout the morning and the trails were in fantastic shape. My legs were spent but the bike buzz set in and I kept finding this extra energy to keep going. This is where the bitter sweet set in a bit. The moment when I finally gave in and finished up the ride, rolled into the lot and got the overwhelming feeling of sadness. I just had this great ride in the woods with my friends and feel so healthy and happy and damn it cancer. Fuck you cancer for taking away next Sunday’s ride and the Sunday after that….
It’s Monday and I have two days until the cancer get’s taken out of my body. I have to finish up work, personal business and of course make sure I still get one more pedal in. Priorities right! I’m started to get a bit more panicked about the surgery. I know I have to do this and I will do this. I am trying not to focus on the outcome as much but it’s hard not to wonder what they are going to find and how is my body going to look and oh god am I going to be out of my comfort zone physically and mentally! I have so much love and support and can’t believe how all the positive energy people are sending me is being felt from all over. I have never underestimated the power of positive energy but wow, it is there and I thank you all for it.