|Graham Hills- date night ride|
I came off a great weekend of riding mountain bikes but the weekend still held so much unresolved feelings of the unknown. I guess this is all part of that cancer vortex I speak of. It has started to get hard to avoid the feelings of others and to not get wrapped up into their worries and fears for my situation. It is true, if I get absorbed into these feelings, I can go to a very dark space but I can’t. I’m still wondering why me and how come others have to suffer from this disease and the stigma of breast cancer. The more research I do, the harder it is to hear the statistics of how many young women are now getting diagnosed. The numbers are frightening. Positive? Sure I’m staying positive. As much as I can be considering this is happening to me.
Got the call this morning…May 26 will be the surgery date. It seems like 2 more weeks are going to be so hard but then I stop to think. I could use this time. I have so much I want to jam into 2 weeks. It never seems like enough time. As much as I want the surgery to be done and over with, it would also be great to not have to do it at all. But living in denial is not an option. May 26 is the date and that’s that. Until then, I will get some more things in order, enjoy myself and of course ride my bike as much as physically possible.