Minor Setbacks.

Wednesday was one of those daily appointments with my surgeons to discuss and view this new breakdown of tissue on my left side. The hole, while only 5 mm, was not closing as fast as we would had hoped. At this rate it would take up to 3 or more weeks to heal on its own. This is not going to work as I have to start treatments sooner than later. There is an eight week window post surgery that all oncologists prefer to start treatments. They booked me in the O.R. for the following morning. They needed to open the site up a bit and then close it with new stitches. They only chose the O.R. as it is the most sterile place in the hospital and they cannot risk an infection in my implant. This will help the healing process move quicker but again, another morning spent at the doctors and more stitches and damn, I was so close to being able to go hiking at least. Minor setback…

I woke up yesterday a little before 6 am, took my shower and hopped in the car with my sister. I had to check in at 7:00 AM in the same place I had my first surgery. Even though I knew this was not the same, it was so strange to walk into that place again. Feelings started to surface but the nurses are so fantastic there; they do such a great job making you feel settled. I had an IV started. Even though I was only getting a local they wanted to run a couple antibiotics into my system before they start. Again, just a precaution and no problem…I thought. I am chatting away with Dr. B about this and that and all of a sudden I am really itchy, upset stomach and starting to feel really sweaty. Huh?! Our conversation was so light that I could not imagine what was making me so nervous but this was different. This was not my nerves. I lay down on the stretcher and Dr. D comes in to see if I am ready to roll yet and after she notices my red chest under my gown she says, “oh you have red mans syndrome” What the heck is she talking about? Well, this antibiotic that they gave me if it is run too quickly through the IV can have a reaction where the patient turns all red and itchy. They had given me this antibiotic the day of my surgery but over the course of 9 + hours so it was run much slower. They were still running it in the normal limit but my body was pissed. I was also lucky enough to get a horrible GI reaction. Fantastic! Thank goodness I had the IV in me so they could get Benadryl in me quickly and push some tummy meds in me as well. Oh my, I felt as though I had food poisoning and this went on for about an hour until my body stopped shaking and UGH what a nightmare! Thank god my sister was with me as these are those moments in life well, you get it. At one point there were 3 nurses and my two surgeons all starring at me feeling horrible about what had happened. This was to be a quick procedure so once my body settled, in we go. I am not coming back for this tomorrow.

Since they were only using a local, I was wide awake for the procedure. Quite an experience while they set up the room, get me situated and get everything all ready to roll including choosing some music to rock out to. Can’t say it was my favorite selection of classic rock but just when my brain was starting to drift to the ‘dark side’, one of my favorite songs came on. Southern Cross by C.S.N. and right then and there the song and particularly the voice of Stephen Stills made all those bad thoughts drift away. “Rebecca, how are you doing?” “Doing just fine now, thank you”. I hear Dr B hum the song as she worked to cut and stitch my boob back together and she says, “Feel free to sing along if you like”. I was only in there for about 45 minutes or less. I won’t forget the sounds, the smells and the feelings that day in the O.R. Just another memory and experience and I will be stronger for it.

"Think about how many times I have fallen

Spirits are using me, larger voices callin'"

It is Friday and I’m looking forward to catching up on some time with my guy. No big plans but I need to rest and get myself organized a bit. We are trying to get away for the holiday weekend. I hope nothing gets in the way….I really need a break!