No more tanning...unless I'm at the beach!

As planned, Monday was my final radiation treatment.  It is almost too difficult to describe the feeling that day.   It was the last time I would climb up on that cold metal table.  My radiation therapists T and R were both there and sharing in my glory.  It always takes a minute or three for them to get me all lined up on the table so that I am properly aligned with the machine.  R was telling me about her holiday weekend and T was getting me all dialed in.  Then I heard the same line that I have heard for 33 days..."All set, we will be right back".  I usually just say OK but this time, I yelled out "Hey T- make this a good one!".  Right before the giant door closed me in I heard, "It will be the best one yet Rebecca".  I closed my eyes and waited the moment to hear the buzzer.  I started my mantra - a little prayer I came up with to ease the scary moments.  This was the last time I hope I ever hear that noise again.  The 20 seconds ended- this particular treatment only lasted that long.  Usually there were 4 of those.  The buzzer stopped and I felt it...The big smile across my face.  I wanted to jump up off that table with a giant Yahoo,  but I just kept it inside.  R and T walked back in the room to help me get off the table and they both gave me a big hug before sending me on my way.  It was bitter sweet to know I will not see those folks every day...But they understand that most patients never want to be back there again.  I plan to visit but not until my follow up with DrM.  That is not for six weeks!  According to DrM, my skin looks the best he has ever seen.  Scary thought considering I am pretty well fried and my underarm is starting to peel.  I will take his word for it and from what I have heard from others experiences, I am feeling pretty lucky. 

While I have a huge sense of relief to be finished with the major treatments, I have a little ways to go yet.  I must allow myself some time to heal from the radiation and continue to allow my body to flush out the remaining chemicals from my system.  I am gauging this by a few different things but one is by my finger nails.  One of the many side effects of chemotherapy was my nails all turned white from the nail bed up and became extremely brittle.  I was lucky they didn't fall off but  it was still so weird and pretty ugly.  They are almost all grown out now.  I have maybe another month to go.

With the new year beginning so well, I promised myself I would not look too deep into the belly of 2010.  However, while cleaning up my office desk yesterday, I came upon an envelope of photos that have been given to me over the year.  They are actual prints and I do not have the original digital so I decided to scan some of them into my computer.  Here is one that G and I both found pretty hard to look at.  It brought up a lot of emotion both individually ( I'm sure his experience and memories of this is different than mine) and together.  I almost can't look too closely at it but thought I would share it with all of you.  Some of you were there that night.  It was taken on May 25, 2010 - The night before my surgery. 

Heading home after an evening I will never forget. 

For now, I am trying to separate these two years but it is not as easy as just turning over the calender.  Where does 2010 end and where does 2011 really begin? I will just have to let time work that out.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family who have supported me over the last year and to my random blog readers out there....Let this year bring us all many wonderful things!