To race or not to race?

I have been nursing my hand since last Sunday with lots of ice, wearing the annoying splint and staying off the bike (sort of).  

I decided to take a spin class on Wednesday morning just so I can keep my legs moving and not have the concern of having to hold on.  Besides being more boring than I remember, it was a good spin.  It is so different when you know the weather outside is perfect and you have to be inside. 

Thursday I had a Pilates session with my friend Joy at Body Wise Studio.  She has watched me and helped me come back from two major surgeries and all my treatments.  Just last week she was telling me how strong I have gotten-I have worked really hard and Joy has been a big part of my comeback.  I walked into the studio almost ashamed that I had hurt myself.  Of course, she was just so happy I did not break anything or land on my ‘demon side’ which is what she calls my left side (the cancer side).

 

The impact of a fall can be so traumatic on the body.   Since the fall, my body had gone into healing mode, so I was feeling really tight and cramped up, even after I had done some stretching at home.  As usual, she quickly got me moving into a routine and still worked me over even without the use of my hand.  The amazing part of Pilates is how it helps me to open up my body in ways that I can not do any other way.- It helps me to feel centered again.  I came out of the studio Thursday feeling taller and stronger than when I went in.  I love those sessions with Joy. 

Thursday was such a nice evening and G got home on a little earlier train.  We decided that maybe we could try to ride up the Aqueduct to see how my hand would feel.  It is a relatively smooth pedal,  so it was probably the best way to test out my hand.  I wore my brace, but I was favoring my hand so much I was hardly holding on to the bar especially going over any sort of bump. 

Friday, I rested and iced.

It has been healing surprisingly fast.  My palm is still a bit swollen but nothing like it was.  The bruising is better than two days ago.  I can make a fist, but I still cannot squeeze my hand completely.

A couple days ago.  

So, what does this mean for racing Sunday? 

Today is Saturday, the day before the race.  I decided to do a very mellow pedal around the race course.  I wrapped my hand and wrist up in an Ace bandage hoping that would give me some support,  but allow me to move my hand better.  It went pretty well except for the downhill sections.  I had to go pretty slow as the pressure on my hand was just too much.  It felt great to be out there and I rode almost all the technical sections.

I did walk the section I crashed on.  Mostly it was because I had to stare so hard at the rock I messed up on wondering -why on earth would I have chosen that line?

I am still unsure.  It is set to start raining tonight and into tomorrow.  It is sort of swaying me away from racing.    Blue Mountain is technical enough when dry, that with the rain can make it traitorous.   Plus without a strong and stable grip on the handle bars- I could end up in a ditch again. 

I could go out there and just ride the race but that would not be the same.  I want to race, not just go for a ride.

Good luck to all of you that are racing this weekend.  I will see you out there one way or another. 

S.M.