My account of life both on and off of two wheels...... "At least I'm enjoying the ride"

Friday, April 8, 2011

1 year later...

It was April 2, 2010 and I was sitting in the back waiting room at the woman's imaging center.  I was just waiting outside the radiologists office in my white robe, thinking to myself..how did I get here? I wonder how much longer this will take so I can get a ride in today?  I had just finished having an ultra sound of my breast, followed by 4 or so rounds of mammogram pictures.  The x-ray tech came out of the radiologists office and said  "The doctor just wants a couple more pictures ".  As if my stomach had not already dropped into my knees, this was when I began to get really nervous.  The tech was wonderful and tried to make small talk with me.  She knew.  They all knew.  They saw the cancer in the films but of course would never tell me that without the proper biopsy.


I was called into the Radiologists office. Before I could sit down, I could not help but notice there was images of my breasts everywhere.   She had a stone cold face and began to try and explain the films to me.  While pointing at the images she said "We need to biopsy this.  I don't like anything about it.".  At the time I really had no idea what she meant by "this". Of course we all know how this part of the story unfolds.


It turned out that I had extensive DCIS in my left breast with a 2.3 centimeter invasive cancer tumor attached to it. Life as I knew it changed for me that day.  Everything else just came to a halt.  All that mattered was what was the next step to getting this cancer out of me.  April 13 was my biopsy.  April 15 the biopsy results confirmed invasive breast cancer. MRI- confirmed my need for a mastectomy.  Blood tests; Surgeries; Scans; Chemo; Radiation all leads me up to today, 1 year later. 


This time-line will forever be embedded in my mind.  I hope some of the painful and scary memories will fade with time.  I will never forget completely nor do I think I want to forget.  It is not who I am but it is part of my journey now. 

Meanwhile....

I have been exhausted over the past few weeks.  Just a steady tired feeling.  I am not quite sure what it is all about.  Am I tired from all the extra riding and the full days of work?  I have been riding big rides on the weekends and working out with weights and I have been doing Pilates.  Maybe I just don't recover the same way as I use to.  Maybe it's because I had my ass kicked by all the cancer treatments this past year.  I do hope it is not from my new medication - I am now over 2 months into taking Tamoxifen.  But then again, it could be a combination of all the of the above.


Over the past two weekends G and I have been able to get some great trail riding in.  Here are two photos from a couple weeks back.  It had even snowed a bit that week and it was 29 degrees at the start! It is supposed to be spring!


My guy riding @ Blue

Me, feeling strong.  It was a cold day too.




It was just this past Sunday that I really felt like I have gotten my stability and strength back on the bike.  I am still working on endurance and strength, so speed has not really been my concern -yet.  No photos taken that day....we were too busy pedaling and enjoying the ride.  It was a great day in the woods. Probably the best since before my surgery.


I am hoping for some nice weather this weekend- I need more pedaling time!


Have a great weekend.


S.M.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Bec, do you think there is some way you could send some of your bike-riding enthusiasm my way? I'm fitter and healthier, both mentally and physically, when I am riding - but it just isn't happening at the moment!

    Greg

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Greg, I totally know what you mean. Biking just keeps me "right sized" in more ways than one. Sending you some of that enthusiasm right now..do you feel it? Now, go ride you bike! R

    ReplyDelete