I just can't get myself to do it.

Every three weeks I have to go for a  follow up with my oncologist and get my Herceptin treatment.   This will continue on until I am finished with Herceptin in September of this year.  During my last visit with DrW, we discussed a few important things.  Among those topics was Tamoxifen - the hormonal treatment that I have to take everyday for the next 5 years.  Since a strong percentage of my cancer fed on estrogen ( ER + ) this is a continuation of my treatments to help keep this cancer away for good.  You would think I would want to take this pill and yesterday!  Needless to say, I am not overly anxious to start a new drug.  Especially since I finally feel like my body has almost detoxed from all the chemo.  I have been really nervous to start.  Like all pharmaceutical drugs, there is always the potential for side effects.  Some worse than others and it has me very anxious.  While the topic of whether or not to take the pill was not  up for discussion, ( DrW said "you HAVE to take it") when I start taking it was.  "I don't care which day, you pick but when I see you next, I want you to have started." So, it's been two weeks and everyday I take my regular vitamins and I stare at this bottle of pills.  I pick them up, I think about when my next appointment is and I ponder, Is today the day I should take this pill?.....With a week to go until I see DrW, I better take it soon.  I am not happy about it but I'm not really happy about any of the treatments I have had to take.  It just better work!