Free time has new meanings.

Time has been very precious for me these days.   I am usually running from one doctor appointment to the next one. And when I’m feeling “good” I am trying to get as much done in between appointments as I can without overdoing it.  That means some sacrifices: Work, exercise and mostly social seems to have fallen down the list. I am trying to slowly put them back up the priority list but it is not always that easy.   Just when I think I have my groove back, I have another appointment to squeeze into my day or I am too tired to do all the things I used to do in a day. Then it is time to get my treatment and the cycle begins again.  

No matter how I mentally or physically prepare for these treatments, the outcome is almost the same.  The Taxol drug has been different but still miserable all the same. Thursday I get my treatment- it feels like a long day in the hospital.  I am usually fine on Friday and most of Saturday so I try to get things done. Starting Saturday night- the restless leg syndrome kicks in and I know what is coming.  By morning, the pain will start in my pelvis and it shoots all the way down to my big toe.   I am so exhausted that the idea of doing anything let alone go down my stairs makes me want to cry.   It is predictable down to the very hour or minute.  I had to get the Neulasta shot this time (the white blood cell booster) as my counts dropped substantially after my last treatment since I didn't receive it.  It just adds to the leg pain but it will keep me on track for my last treatment.  Yes, the last treatment is scheduled for October 21.  If I can keep myself out of trouble between now and then…I will be finished with the chemotherapy part of my treatment. 

These horrible days do not last forever and when my schedule allows, I am enjoying the awesome fall weather we have been having.  I am riding mostly on the road bike and only a few days a week.  I have been trying to see more friends and being more social again.  I have missed that so much.  Lunch dates have been special, early morning coffee or walks. Even those  20 minutes in-between-appointments to grab a cup of tea with a friend… those moments mean so much to me. 

Me and C. - friends, sunshine and a cup of tea make me smile.

This photo was actually taken by a kind women that was also at Starbucks while we were having a quick tea. She must have heard us laughing about our quick visit and followed us outside where she offered to take our photo- thank you D. for capturing our smiles.