Game On!

The last few weeks have been jam packed with work, family visits and many birthday celebrations.  Thank goodness I was so distracted since this has been a very long 5 weeks without exercise!  

Special Birthday visitors. 

Story time with MoMo

Birthday dinner with my guy. 

More birthday celebration...

Smiles. 

My follow up appointment with Dr DP was Wednesday and I was cleared to stop wearing my compression strap and am now free to start exercising.  There is still a tiny bit of fluid on my left side but nothing that should not absorb into my body-I hope.

 

You would think that I would have jumped right on the bike but that did not happen. 

Both my road and my mountain bike are in the shop getting tuned up.  I should have at least one of them back by the weekend.  While there is always my single speed- it currently has a flat tire and I was not quite ready to jump on the single speed, just yet.

   

It was 8 degrees Thursday morning so I opted to head to the gym to try my turn on one of the many cardio machines since the spin class was full.  It was probably better for me to start off slow.  I sort of enjoyed eating my way through the holidays so there is a lot of work to be done on my part. 

   

I won’t bore you with the details of a gym workout but I do want to share something about that morning.  

I was digging through my draw looking for clothes to wear to the gym.  I put on one of my old sports bras mostly for  comfort to protect my scars.  The scars are still sensitive and probably will be for a while.  I put a shirt over the bra and looked down.  I had a moment.  Not the “Oh, what have I done moment” but more of,  “You got this, woman!”.  This was my first time really showing off my flat chest openly where nobody knows me.  Funny thing was I don’t think anyone really noticed and if they did, I really do not care.   I actually felt so much freer while I was exercising.  The implants never felt totally comfortable and I always knew they were there.  This all comes back around to – this is all me!

 

I have been noticing some strange things happening with my left arm.  The cording is still there but it does seem less tight than before.  I know that when I get back in the Pilates studio, I can work on stretching that out some more.  The strange and somewhat disturbing part is the swelling.  It is in my hand, half my wrist and elbow area but my arm just looks bigger than the right one.  I have scheduled an appointment to go back to physical therapy to get reevaluated for lymphedema.    My unprofessional opinion is I already have it ad the compression band around my chest may have just restricted my lymph drainage.  It probably was a bad combination with surgery already being a high risk for developing lymphedema.  But, there was no choice. I am still hopeful that I can get this sorted out before it gets out of hand.   It is manageable but pretty uncomfortable and my compression sleeve just makes the cording hurt more.   

Game on!

I have most of my race schedule on the calendar for this season and registrations have already started to open for some of the more popular races that I want to enter.  I have a long way to go and a shorter time to get back into shape.  I want to attempt to actually be competitive this year so we will see.  Regardless, I have a full schedule of races planned.  The race season starts as early as April so it should be interesting.  I am sure to get my butt kicked but that is okay.  It will not be the first time.  I just have to do the work to build myself back up again.  There is something more rewarding in that than the actual race.    

Thank you for all the nice messages and support.  It is nice to know people are still following along.  

S.M. 

Walk in the woods with my guy. 

New Helmet Required.

So far, the month of May has been all about focusing on keeping my endurance and adding some intensity to my rides.  

I have started to ride my mountain bike from the house to one of our local trails- Graham Hills.  I usually would drive there but it is only 6 miles each way.  It helps me warm up before I get to the trails and then I am able to give it more gas in the woods and spin my legs out on the way home.  G and I use to do this sometimes during the winter or early spring but driving there always seemed quicker.  It only saves 15 minutes and then I still have to get ‘ready’ to ride when I get to the parking lot.  So far, these rides from the house have been anywhere between 21-25 miles combined road and dirt.  I need to increase this but of course it is hard to find that extra time.  This "small ride" takes at least a couple hours as it is.

The best way to increase my mileage and time in the saddle is to get on the road bike as it is easier on the body compared to all the jarring with mountain bike.  It was part of the plan after SSAP to make sure I get back on the road on a more regular basis- At least 2 times a week.  

I was in a Pilates workshop the whole weekend prior so there was not much riding for me.  I was anxious to enjoy the beautiful weather outside.

Ideally we would have ridden mountain bikes on Saturday and road bikes on Sunday but this weekend, we switched it around because a friend wanted to ride mountain bikes with us on Sunday.  We had ridden to Graham Friday evening so the road sounded good to me. 

Saturday morning we left out of the house and decided to head north.  We took a few back roads over to Pleasantville and jumped on the North County Trailway.  The NCT is a great place to keep the legs spinning but I had also wanted to recalculate some mileage from the 117 parking lot in Pleasantville up to our friend’s bike shop – Yorktown Cycles. 

I have been helping to plan the first bike ride fundraiser for Body Wise Connection and this is the route I have chosen.  This is the organization that got me started with Pilates and helping plan this fundraiser is part of my way to “give back”.  Of course I am leading this ride so I need to do the ride a few times before the day of the event which is June 2, 2012. 

We took a quick pit-stop at the bike shop to say hi and get a few extra snacks for the ride.  I also discussed with Tom about replacing my helmet after my recent crash in which I hurt my hand.  Once you have crashed your helmet it is best to replace it. The helmet becomes compromised and may not work to its full potential the next time.  

Enjoying the amazing weather. 

We left the shop and pedaled further north.  We decided to turn around and head towards home so we could detour off the NCT to hit some hills in Briarcliff.  Heading south, we were cruising along and I got a flat in my rear tire.  It appeared that my rear tire had a pretty good size tear in it.   G fixed it with a GU wrapper and said “no hills on this tire- we should get home while we can”.  It was okay; we were having a great ride and still wanted to save some gas in the tank for our mountain bike ride the next day.  By the time we would finish the ride it was still going to be just shy of 50 miles. 

That is a nice size tear

We were pedaling home at a very mellow pace as I was trying to be gentle with my rear tire.  We must have been going only about 14-15 miles an hour and we were almost to the 117 parking lot area.  I stood up off my saddle to stretch my legs out for a second and just then, I hit a bump.  The NCT is known for its random holes and bumps and I thought I knew where all of them were.  This one took my balance and I lost complete control of my front end.  I tried to recover quickly but because I had been standing, my weight was shifted forward more than usual- I could not correct it.  I was going down.  I have never crashed on my road bike (not counting as a kid crashing on my ten speed) but knew it was going to be ugly.  I tried to force my body to the far right where there was hope of hitting the grass.  My right hip didn’t quite make it to the grass but thankfully my shoulder and head did.  This was by far the scariest crash I have ever had.  It is so different to dump it on your road bike than the mountain bike.  I am actually very lucky that it was not any worse.  I am pretty banged up with some nasty road rash on my right side and my forehead. 

It is now officially time for a new helmet! 

I managed to ride the bike home in the one gear that G found would work-my bike sustained a little damage from the crash and was not working perfectly.  It was a painful and slow 6 miles home. 

It did not ruin my weekend but it did hurt pretty bad and when I woke up Sunday morning, my neck and back were pretty sore.  G put his foot down on our plan to ride at Blue Mountain so we decided to ride from the house to Graham Hills again.  I thought I might be a bit crazy to even ride my mountain bike the next day but I was surprised how well I actually rode.  I had a lot more snap in my legs than I thought I would and frankly, getting on my road bike did not sound so appealing.   I keep seeing that crash over and over in my head.  Besides, the road bike needs a little work…

Hoping for a good week ahead and trying to stay upright!

S.M.

Any Other Sunday

The day before.  

We woke up Sunday morning April 15, my 2 year ‘cancerversary’.  It was just like any other Sunday.  G and I ate our breakfast and gathered our things together to get to the trailhead.  It was a gorgeous morning and we were meeting our friend Tony at Blue Mountain.  He was only down from Vermont for the day so we decided to change plans last minute.  Our original plan was to ride the road bikes since we had been going pretty hard on the dirt lately.   I was sort of tired but really happy to be meeting up with Tony and a couple other friends that I have not ridden with in a long while.   It helped to put a bit of extra something in my legs. 

Totally focused- Sunday's ride before...

We decided to start off the ride doing the chainstretcher race course loop.  I was feeling pretty ‘on’ with my technical skills that morning and felt surprisingly strong.  We were going at a pretty nice clip when about 3.5 miles into the loop it happened…That quick lack of judgment or bad line choice that changes everything. 

I went over the bars and rolled down a ledge only to land on my head and my right hand.  It sounds a lot more dramatic when I write it out but it was a pretty good crash.  Nobody even saw me.  Most of the guys were ahead of me and G and Tony were behind me a bit. By the time they rolled up on me, I was trying to climb out of the pile of rocks and leaves.  This is a known spot for crashes and is one that I usually take a bit more cautiously. 

I have been pretty lucky with most of my crashes in the past and have been able to at least ride out of the woods.   I had no choice this time.  I could not hold the handle bars, was pretty dizzy and in quite a bit of pain from my hand that I thought it could be broken. 

To be on the safe side, we took a trip to the ER to get an x-ray.  Thankfully, it is not broken.  They gave me a splint to help keep it stable and sent me home to elevate and ice.  I would have updated sooner but it has not been so easy to type.  It still hurts but it is so much better than I thought it was going to feel.  The swelling is coming down a lot and my whole palm and wrist is turning deep shades of purple.  I think it is healing!

This is a minor setback in the grand scheme of things and I remind myself that it can always be worse. 

I am unsure if I will be able to race this Sunday at the Chainstretcher but only time will tell.  It all depends on if I can hold onto the handle bars or not.    

I am off the bike until further notice.  

  

This was not how I had planned to spend my day celebrating or starting my racing season but that is how life works.  This could have happened on any other Sunday.  It is mountain biking after all and I would not change a thing except maybe I would have taken a better line.

It is time for those super hero healing powers to kick in anytime now.

S.M. 

Spring Forward.

It is now officially spring on the calendar but it feels like it has been here for a while now. With all the warmer than usual temperatures in New York, it seems as though we skipped over winter this year! My daffodils are in full bloom and I caught a strong smell of lilacs on my road ride the other evening.

Shorts and short sleeves on the first day of spring. 

Notice all the hair sticking out of the helmet!  

The arrival of spring also means that the start of mountain bike race season is only weeks away for me. I am not sure I am actually ready for it-physically or mentally. I won’t really know until I race my first race. I do feel a lot stronger than I did last year at this time but that does not give me much to go on since this time last year I was only 6 months out of chemo, 2 months out of radiation treatments, just starting my 5 year sentence of Tamoxifen and getting Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks. Compared to all that, I am doing great!

Solo ride on the single speed. 

Actually, I am doing well according to my new primary doctor. I had a regular physical last week. This was the first overall physical I have had in years. It seems surprising since I have seen so many doctors but they are all specialists with their own focus- cancer and new boobs.  This was a new doctor for me but I really liked him.  He ordered a full blood panel to see how I was doing. I have gotten my share of blood drawn over the past two years but my oncologist was never looking at things like cholesterol or my thyroid. She is usually more interested in things like my tumor markers, liver panel and blood counts. According to this recent blood work, I am very healthy. Vitamin D is up quite a bit, cholesterol is “perfect” and my thyroid is normal…phew! The cancer treatments have been known to do wonders on the thyroid. I will have blood work done again next month but this will be at my 4 month oncology follow up. Unless there is something really wacky with my tumor markers, I have no reason to believe I won’t get the A-okay from my oncologist as well.

I have had 4 physical therapy appointments thus far and my new physical therapist J, is not messing around with these cords in my arm. She has actually found another one that is deep in my bicep and a few small ones that are splitting off at my elbow.

 “No wonder your wrist hurts” she said to me Monday as she was stretching and massaging the “mother cord”. (That is what she calls the new one she found) I am struggling a bit with how much it hurts during but mostly afterwards. I have to wrap my arm in ice packs when she is done with me.

It does seems to be paying off. At the end of our session yesterday, it actually felt like the tightness had given way in some areas. Not completely but I am still hopeful.

It seems that all the extra efforts - diet, biking and Pilates is starting to amount to some positive changes in my body. It has not been easy getting to this point but I am a true believer in - you have to do the work. The doctors can only help me to a certain level, then it is up to me. My body has done some healing naturally but I have really had to push myself to get back some sense of control again.

As I spring forward, I will try to keep up the work and hopefully stay on track.

Heading home before sunset. 

S.M.

Me, over do it?

I am reminded how quickly it can happen.  You feel great, your life seems to be going along nicely and wham…you over do it! 


My week leading up to my long weekend in the Pilates studio was jam packed but I felt great.  I was 'handling' all of it.  The workshop was fantastic-best one yet. A lot of work both physically and mentally.  That following Monday rolled around and I was not only exhausted but I had that heavy feeling in my chest and the coughing began.  Next it was the fever, runny nose and did I mention the cough?  I have not been this sick from a “cold” in a long time.  I was down for the count all week.  No work, no rides, no studio time, no fun.  While I sat on the couch feeling sorry for myself, I remembered all those days I was so sick from chemo that I could hardly walk or open my eyes without wanting to puke.  Those days have passed for me and so would this.  Oddly, I feel lucky that it is just a bad cold…I do really hate being cooped up though.  Especially when I had a plan to catch up on some riding during the week and long rides for the weekend. 

This past weekend, we were reminded that it is winter and there was no way I was heading out in that weather on Saturday.  I had hoped to head up to Stewart to try to get some longer miles in but that was not going to happen.  I did manage to convince G that I was feeling well enough on Sunday to do a quick lap around Graham.  It was windy and cold but the trails were in great shape.  Amazingly, my legs felt so strong but my lungs, not so much.   My guy had to rein me in and head me back to the car.  I did not want to go home but I know it was the right decision.  He reminded me that I always push myself too hard and it is not always the best thing for me.  I would like to tell you that I do this because I want to live my days to the fullest since my cancer diagnosis but the reality is, I lived this way well before my diagnosis.   I still do not think that is wrong, but I do now consider the long term effects of taking on too much.  There will be more time to pedal .  

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and if all goes as planned, G and I will start our day with a morning pedal in the woods before work.  Now that is my kind of romance!

Happy Valentines Day!

XO

S.M. 

Beating the Odds.

Final Ride of 2011

We are already a few weeks into 2012 and tomorrow will be my 38^th birthday!  The time between the holidays and my birthday seemed like a blur.   Actually the time between all of my birthdays can sometimes seem like a blur.  Where does the time go?

I use to worry about getting older, but now I usually just smile when I hear people say “oh my GOD, I am getting so old!”  Getting old is a gift.  Since my cancer diagnosis, age is sort of game of Beat the Odds for me now.  How many birthdays can I get to celebrate from here on out?  I would not mind 40-50 more years please.   Is that too much to wish for?

 

I know it may seem strange to others, but it has not been until recently that I have thought about how not-sick I really was before my diagnosis with cancer.  Cancer is and can remain for a long time, a very silent killer within someone’s body.  I do know that I was not too far away from being in a world of trouble, but I really did not feel sick.  I felt great- probably the best shape of my life.  It was not until they gave me treatments to make me ‘better’ did I truly feel sick. What I am really recovering from is the treatments, not the cancer.   I powered through most of it, rode my bike, worked, and lived the best I could every day. Yet, I still have a hard time comprehending whether or not I was really ‘sick’. 

  

I feel like my riding is coming together and I am starting to feel my strength returning.  This has only really occurred in the past two weeks.  We have been able to get some pretty good miles in since the weather had been so warm.  My endurance is coming back and I am actually feeling pretty good -most days.   I think my body has recovered from most of the treatments, but then I overdo it on rides and working long hours, and then I feel exhausted.  I would like to think that goes the same for most people so I won’t give it too much thought.

   

Winter has finally hit the New York area.  It would not be my birthday without below freezing temperatures or a snow storm.  That is more like it! While I do wish tomorrow was going to be 50 degrees and sunny, I will take the day as is.  

Beautiful day for a hike...20* and sunny!  

  

So, here is to me turning 38 with a strong 40 or 50 birthdays in my future!

Thank you for reading.

S.M.